Saturday, January 16, 2010

The jumpoff

One of the funniest things ever was watching the Saints coaches and players huddled around the picture of of them getting smoked for a 70 yard TD run on the first play. It reminded me of every construction job where the bosses are standing around trying to figure out how they're going to work around all the fuck-ups and shortcuts they've taken.

I'm thinking, wow, the fingerprint hasn't even left the mouse and here's my point about the Cards ringing true. Then, someone answered back, slow your roll cowboy. This is like the first seven of 80. The Saints don't turn the ball over like McNabb, Delhomme and the Packers did. Before I could check my whiskey for hallucinogens, it was tied. Before I could check again, the WR coughed up the ball.
The ease with which the Saints scored their second touchdown set off all the alarms. The Cardinals are scared to tackle. They can't even get in front of the Saints. Now, they actually held the Cards. Damn, Reggie Bush looks for real. This is how he used to run for USC. dudes can't even see him. 21-7 is a muthafuckin' problem (2:26) like DMX. So, we stand between quarters and the only thing that can stop the Saints is their own resolve. How timely then, that the quarter gives them an opportunity to reflate their balls on 3rd down. Well, what do you know, the Cards held. Maybe they do want to play.
Oh, shit, a pick. They said that once Warner is sacked, he has the tendency to give up the ball. Wow, they called a blow to the head, nullifying the pick...great, because they missed a more obvious one on the last drive...too many fucking rules. The KWM has adjusted by going underneath because the Saints aren't letting them take what was there last week. 21-14; pretty easy after the penalty. Offside on the PAT Do they grow some balls and onsides kick from the 35?
No balls of course, and the Saints torch them again. Fuck, another pick, where the fuck was he throwing it? just like th- oooooffff Warner got leveled. There he goes to the locker room. Ah, holding. 2 minute warning. So, what's 17 yards to the Saints? It's too easy, that's what it is. Leinart's coming out? All right, it may be time to pack this one in for the half. Can Leinart even get us to the half? I don't think this Saints kicker is using the K-balls. He's reached the endzone every time. Ho-o-o-oly shit, there goes the helmet.

Haha, Cards have called a time out- they can't leave bad enough alone. I think the Jets did this in Week 4 or something and wound up going the other way. They're going to play for the FG, isn't that cute? 3 points. Rackers coming out, this aught to be fun...from 51, he missed, but the Saints called a time out right before..dumbasses...I feel another rule change coming on. He couldn't even reach this time- on a 51 yarder, indoors. Why is he even in the league? Bah, it might have helped with the backdoor cover. But, when I said it was the first seven of 80, I didn't mean 80 just for the Saints.

Good thing I'm long retired. I remember having the over 58 in a college bowl game in, like, 1993. Just like this one, they had 49 between them at the half. While I was counting the money, they started playing defense; both pitched a shutout in the second half. What a crash that was. Fat chance of that happening here, right? Let's see if they can tweak the CPU and fire up the KWM for the second half.
Fucking mook kicks off out of bounds. Saints got cute on that we go 4th and 3...ah, they chickened out...and the punt wasn't all that productive. The Saints took their foot off the Cards' neck can the Cards sh-man that cheerleader was hot... no way she was in the Would You Do...?-ow some signs. It's probably their last chance.
Flamed out. If the Saints score here- stranger things have happened- I'm probably going to tune out. A field goal; eh, I'll give Warner one more drive. More cheerleaders; FOX has its finger on the pulse of things.

Another kickoff 5 yards deep. Warner back to the underneath and short stuff- two drops, twice good pressure...Fitzgerald had it, damn, they are double covering him with the zone. Go for it you jagoffs...ahhh, oh fuck, that was shit coverage, morons...awww it's Kim Kardashian. good thing her ass-they're going to pull Warner, I think...let me finish this thought them I'm outta here- was below th- I mean, good thing the camera was at a distance; her ass would have taken up the whole screen.

Another kickoff into the endzone. If they find nitrogen in the footballs, can we get a DQ out of this. Warner's staying out and throwing more underneath stuff. That he was fighting to stay in this game has to mean that this is the last game for him. There is no way he is going to end on the bench. That the Saints are far enough ahead to take their foot off the gas means that, as long as Warner remains in, this will serve as his testimonial. What a f'n ride it was!

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