Thursday, January 21, 2010

America's Game?

While watching the NFL Playoffs is still a worthwhile endeavor, Bokolis typically puts on regular season games to fall asleep. Hey, I'm all over the map for 13 days out of 14, usually going on 4 hours sleep. I need a day here and there to recharge.

In that regard, the Jets have usually been my patron. But, generally, I find NFL broadcasts boring. Most of the broadcast teams are terrible, but it's not about that. Despite not giving a fuck about college football, I can more easily sit through a game, even though they last longer than NFL games and the announcers are usually worse.

I've gone on about all the commie rules and their misapplications. But, the reason I commonly give is that there is no action; most of the time, they're just dicking around. Well, the Wall Street Journal, of all things, has quantified those are some fuckers with nothing to do. Considering that we're in the middle of a shitstorm unlike any most of us have ever seen, you'd think they'd have hunted down those responsible or, at least, devote their energy towards figuring out what our government government does withour taxes.

The citizenry's loss is the football fans' gain. NFL games run about 3 hours or so. As it turns out, the time spent on air is a little under two hours, with the difference being commercials. That's criminal in itself, but practically inescapable. Out of the time on air, almost 60% is spent watching the players dicking around in the huddle, grabbing each others' nuts in the pile-on, or craning at the sideline trying to figure out if they should be on or off for the next play.

They give you all this other minor bullshit that goes on. It seems that we don't get enough cheerleaders and there was nothing about the sideline broad getting cock-whipped. That's some bullshit.

Game action is typically about 10-12 minutes per game. All that fuss, all those buffalo wings and other fat people food for 12 minutes of action. That's less bang for the buck than UFC, hardly enough to satisfy people's bloodlust. To be fair, that probably doesn't count the part of the game where the QB repeatedly yells out "Omaha!" and raises his right leg, lest we figure out that he knows fuck-all about what he's doing...that's exciting shit right there.

This is the part where Bokolis usually offers a suggestion as to how to fix the problem. Someone had it right the first time; it's called rugby. You have a thing for the forward pass, you say. There's always college football. I have to think there is more game time because of all the clock stoppages. But, the games also take close to 4 hours, without overtime. The networks won't have that. I guess you could take some time off the clock and re-institute clock stoppages so as not to lose any plays like they did when they eliminated some clock stoppages.

The ptb at the NFL would rather spend their time redefining and reinterpreting what constitutes a catch. It ain't much, but that's all the fuck I got.

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