Saturday, August 29, 2009

Are You Ready for Some Foootbaaaalll!!! 2009-10

Normally, Bokolis doesn't care about the part of the football season played before the group stage of the Champions League. But, the FAs insist on starting the season earlier and earlier each year. The EPL is going to be at least 5 games in before September and they are playing a Milan Derby in August. I know we're in a WC season, but c'mon.

Anyway, I've had to adjust accordingly. This is a new era for the red and black fist, so I've had to assess the damage. Well, I've already assessed the damage; I'm just logging my assessment.

Maldini has finally been allowed to go home and they cashed in Kak√°, so Ancelotti correctly figured that this would be a good time as any to get the fuck out of there. So, were left with a Ninja Turtle in charge...errr, yeah, but may as well be. They are now left with a bunch of second rate Brazilians who may as well be on holiday. Just like Milan floundered when Baresi retired, so too will they now. It may be worse now because there are no winners left. Well, there's Gattuso and Seedorf...exactly. Nesta is the only one that so much as masquerades as a quality Italian defender. Ambrosini swears he's good enough to play more than part time. Pirlo is the new Albertini; utterly useless.

We turn to Liverpool, which have, in Tom Hicks, roughly the football equivalent of the Wilpons as (one of) its owner(s). Because, like most deals where Dubya is the seller, it was probably a rigged deal, Bokolis won't go so far as to say that, having purchased the Texas Rangers from the second dumbest man on Earth, Hicks is indeed the dumbest man on Earth. He may be, but I won't let it enter into the analysis.

Like the Wilpons, Hicks and Gillette were keen to cash in on the new stadium payday.

As with the Wilpons, a funny thing happened on the way to the windfall. Both were stung by the prevailing economic conditions. Wilpon's attendance was hurt by the Wall St. set having fallen on hard times, a shit team and its plight and falling victim, to the tune of, depending on who you believe, anywhere from $300MM to $700MM, to Bernie Madoff. The credit shitstorm led to the financing pool drying up on Hicks and Gillette.

So, while Wilpon managed to get his homage to the Brooklyn Dodgers completed, all Hicks and Gillette have is a deed and (can someone go check) broken ground. Liverpool supporters are seething and they want the Yanks to go home, ostensibly in favor of some Dubai group (as if having some nouveau riche Arabs as owners should inspire confidence in management).

What's worse for Hicks and Gillette, they put in place short-term financing, figuring they'd have the place built by now. Those notes are now coming due and they don't really have the scratch. That means, of course, that they've had to sell off some talent. Most notably, while Madrid were throwing around money, Xabi Alonso was sold off for 30 million. That's quid.

Of course, they couldn't replace him, so they're stuck for creativity in midfield and they didn't have any wing play to begin with. This creates messes on the field. And, when those messes are created, Stevie G relegates himself to running around to clean up. He does it just fine but- talk about misplaced resources- it comes at the expense of destroying any semblance of flow.

Nonetheless, I figured that they could do enough so that, with Poof-naldo also moving to Madrid, the filthy manc cunts (fmcs) would slip even more, that Arsenal and Chelski would not gain enough to put the League out of reach. The fmcs have indeed slipped but, after seeing today's match with Arsenal, Fergie must have also taken out a line of credit on his deal with the devil.

So, it's not even September and it seems that both leagues- never mind the Champions League, which is what matters most to Bokolis- are already fucked. Since the fmcs have equalled Liverpool's 18 Leagues and stand an excellent chance of overtaking, the final piece of shit-talking is, what the fuck took you so long?