Saturday, January 3, 2015

rugby for fairies 2014 wild card round

Unlike the NBA, where teams sleepwalk through playoff games, you may reasonably expect NFL players to be giving you something approaching full effort.  It approaches being fun to speculate on the outcome, even if this is a shit card.

Remember, Bokolis doesn't pay attention to this stuff like the rest of fat-assed America.  If I'm watching the NFL, it's on the monitor of the treadmill or at the ensuing session.  If I watch this at home, it usually puts me to sleep.  But, that hasn't stopped me from doing well for at least the last two seasons, so we press our luck.

I'm going to miss Rex.

Cardinals (+6.5) over PANTHERS - Bokolis wouldn't touch this game.  While it seems like a printing press to get this many points- surely an overvaluing of their performance in the season finale- it usually turns out to be a sucker's bet.  I would love to tell y'all (again) that Cam Newton is a mongoloid who can't process variables, but it would seem there is offsetting inexperience on the other side.  I have to put my faith in coach Arians and how he's made lemon meringue out of all the lemons.  He will at least make this into enough of a shit-show so that Carolina doesn't run off with it.

STEELERS (-3) over Ravens - This is another game that Bokolis would avoid, if only because both of these teams are off their best levels.  The Steelers are as unloved an 11-5 side as you'll see.  The knock on them is that they've had atrocious losses.  I suppose their recent form should squash that, but they will be without their RB this evening.  Nonetheless, the Ravens have not shown anything this year that indicates that Harbaugh-B will summon enough resolve to go into Pittsburgh and swipe a playoff game.

COLTS (-3.5) over Bengals - I guess we are supposed to disregard the 27-0 train-run Indy put on the Bengals earlier this season.  Bokolis thinks Dalton is shit and will operate accordingly until proven otherwise.

COWBOYS (-6.5) over Lions - Bokolis remembers telling a Cowboys fan earlier this year, if Jerry Jones keeps his fucking mouth shut, the Cowboys will get to the Super Bowl.  Then they played the game against Washington, where Romo was injured, prompting Jerry to bolt the box for the sideline.  I fully blame him for that loss, which is probably why they have to play this week.

As we know, all four Cowboys losses have come at Jerry's super-mart.  It's also no coincidence that the place does not have the best atmosphere for fan engagement/support.  Jerry is often whingeing about opposition fans having too much of a presence at his joint...Bokolis will leave aside that profits (that he doesn't have to share with the rest of the class), not fan support, drove him to build that monstrosity.  He is lucky the Lions are not much of a road show.  While Michiganders typically need no excuse for a vacation from that rusted-out, forsaken territory, especially in the winter, the line to pray at the altar of Harbaugh-A hasn't yet thinned out enough to suggest much traveling support.

Even if they do make it down, Bokolis does not see it making much of a difference.  The Cowboys have had too many impressive performances this season.  While they are quite capable of laying the occasional egg, turning this trick is also going to involve Stafford giving an inspired performance, which he doesn't often offer.

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