I shirk my duties as a citizen- to question and challenge the corrupt muthafuckas governing us- by inefficiently burning off energy by watching drugged-up mongoloids perform actions that would be infinitely more fulfilling if I were out performing for myself.
So, that brings me to rugby for fairies, known to the commonfolk as the NFL. Tournament football, even the gridiron kind, appeals to Bokolis. While I've always known life to be a grind-it-out, longview endeavor, I love to be in the middle of it when it is hectic, on-the-clock crisis-mode. After all, howthefuck will you ever know what you are if you never get to assess yourself in this kind of situation. Are you the type who'd prefer to think who you are?
Like one such unnamed drugged-up mongoloid, I'm not here to talk about the past. I'm here to prognosticate some uninteresting games.
TEXANS (-4) over Bengals: Houston is reeling, the Bengals are rolling, are they? I ain't having none of it. I've seen this shit before. The sputtering side is good for a win here. Schaub will play better, Foster will run, the defense will do enough to see off Cincinnati, who always fucks up in these situations.
PACKERS (-7.5) over Vikings: Everybody is riding Adrian Peterson's dick. Great season though it was, this doesn't translate to the playoffs. The Packers are going to stack the box and dare QB ponder to eat them. Not many think he can do that. Of course, if Peterson runs through the stacked box, Ponder...Ponder is going to have to beat them regardless. Green Bay is going to throw up the same 34 they threw up last week. Do you expect 27 from the Vikings, outdoors?
Colts (+7) over RAVENS: I expect the Ravens to win, with the Colts backdooring the cover. I want to believe the Ravens defense will hammer and overwhelm the rookie QB Luck, but I don't think the Ravens are quite there. The Colts also come in on better form. Even if Luck has a bad day, he has shown that he can play from behind.
REDSKINS (+3) over Seahawks: Two rookie QBs for this one, neither of whom matter to me for these purposes. They did Seattle a favor in making this the late game. As usual, with the Seahawks, this is a home-road deal. I'm not taking them as favorites on the road in the playoffs.