Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I don't believe shit until shit happens!

That, of course, was part of Bernie Mac's Kings of Comedy routine. This applies to the two latest calls for a snow Armageddon in the Apple.

Last week, they warned us that we'd get bombed with about a foot overnight Friday into Saturday. I told people it was bullshit, but there's something you don't know about Bokolis. As I woke up to watch Liverpool, the snow on the ground was akin to cinnamon sprinkled on oatmeal.

So, both on Monday evening and all day yesterday, the cunts on the local news channels warned about impending doom that would befall us overnight and all day today. I woke up yesterday to find predictions of 10 to 15 inches, that it should get going about 9PM, Tuesday evening.

I keep the radar maps on and the NOAA on my browser so I can track this stuff. The NOAA radar is a compilation of local radar, so there are gaps in the composite. I'm not sure about the TWC radar, but TWC gives you a "future" feature (say that quickly 5 times) that goes forward 3 hours.

TWC usually lags in the mornings, so I would track its future against the NOAA's 80-minute radar loop. Right away yesterday, I could see they were overstating the storm's track and intensity. This is why, by the time of the drive home, the story changed to a post midnight jump-off, with the hard stuff coming around 4AM.

Of course, Bokolis wasn't buying any of this shit and made my own call for 5 inches max and included rain in the mix. So, I woke up at 4:30 to see for myself...more cinnamon.

Anyway, this morning, in true pay-no-attention-to-the-man-behind-the-curtain style, they all downplayed the relatively minor output and warned us that the winds would change, the temperature would not rise through the daytime, that the brunt of the storm, which has now moved from our south and west to the west and north, would now intensify and REALLY blow ("blowing snow," they say) through here during the day; that we shouldn't go to work because we'll never be able to get home.

As I sit, typing on The Man, I wonder what the angle is now that, after sleeting from 8:30 to 10AM, there's been nothing for the last two hours...that's a rhetorical question.

I always tell people, when assessing the prospects and/or magnitude of a storm hitting the Apple, they should consider that the Dutch- who, considering their homeland, must have a nose for weather- didn't settle on Manhattan by luck. I'm not saying that it's done- I've killed a lot of storms and this has been one of the baddest muthafuckas of a storm I've ever seen and it still hovers ominously. But, relatively speaking, this has been a miss.

Fearmongering is endemic among all media, but I'll stick to the present topic. When you put on the news for these sorts of things, you're told not to even bother going outside, to stay indoors where it's safe. Leaving aside that they're treating people like children (read: idiots), the undertow of that message is to stay home- even to forego shoveling the driveway- and watch the news so they can tell us all about the snow.

If I'm holed up in the house, WTF do I give a fuck about the snow outside? Why should we listen to alarmist bullshit, bullshit that conditions a reaction...especially when there's Internet porn out there. Hey, Internet porn is a wonderful distraction. One doesn't have to watch it to understand that, both directly and indirectly, it helps put all media and much of life in perspective...why let neurosis consume you when you could be busting a nut?

That's all the fuck I got.

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