Monday, February 8, 2010

Hitler and Saddam Spotted Ice Skating

Bokolis didn't get to hype my annual Super Bowl Sunday foray into rugby for fairies. Since it was expected to be a full 11v11, this year's game turned into a tackle affair. Because people bailed, it turned out to be a 9v9, but we still went tackle, with a 4-man line.

Let me just say, what cunts! Bokolis was out drinking until 4AM on Saturday (Don Julio at a party, Jameson at the bar), but got up at 8AM for a 10AM soccer game. These guys are all 5-10 years younger than I am, but they couldn't make an afternoon game because they can't handle their liquor.

I actually let someone else start at QB. On the first drive, he threw an Eli-esque duck that functioned as a change-up, floating over the defender and into my arms. I took it the rest of the way.

He was ineffective though. He kept drifting back to avoid the rush, took too long to get the ball out and couldn't get the ball to the receivers. Our captain implored me to take over, but I wound up giving him three more drives because the other squad could not move the ball at all...wasn't even cause of me; the lads played good defense and their QBs (they kept switching) all had nothing.

Finally, when he blew up a post play on 4th down- he drifted so far back and waited so long that I had to continue it into a corner route- I had enough.

Bokolis was playing linebacker on D. I'm usually a strong tackler, but I found myself appalled at my lack of desire for contact. I didn't drive through guys; I would just hold them up for others to finish them off. As a QB, though, Bokolis will hang in the pocket because I just don't give a fuck. I got out the rust (3 incompletions) on the first drive, but hit a stop-and-go for a TD and marched for another on the next two drives.

As a QB, I'm more in the Warren Moon, run-n-shoot style. I don't like to run because, when you're allowed to throw the ball, running seems like a copout. But, I'm built like Barry Sanders and know better than to let my ideology get the best of me. I couldn't tell you how good my protection was overall because I get the ball out pretty quickly and I don't pay attention to the line. These guys were so bent on getting to me (they didn't) that they were ignoring their lanes. I stepped though the DT and DE and tore through a broken field (I'm still fast and, while I don't cut like Barry Sanders, it still hard to get in front of me and I know- field vision- how to set guys up without the juke).

I hit a bomb first play of the next drive, which completed the whitewash. Since I had a hand in all 5 scores, I'd have hooked up your fantasy team like a muthafucka. I'm waiting for old age to allow these guys to overtake me, but it looks like they will get old before Bokolis will. The game started too early and finished way too early. We sat around almost 3 hours waiting for the Bowl to start. I should have just gone home to regroup, but was not motivated to make the half-hour drive.

After double duty, I'm well and sore, with expected sorenesses- my shoulder is on fire- but I've felt far worse from less.

The router blew on Friday and the cunts at VZ won't have a router out to me until Tuesday (tomorrow), so I had to post those losers from the mobile and am posting this one on The Man. They'll probably have this printed out when I get my annual performance review later today...bah, I save them a lot of money so WTF.

Since I couldn't type in the text box, I had to dump the predictions into the subject line. In my haste, I forgot to stick the under for the game in there, so Bokolis goes a putrid 4-10 this post-season and, had I actually followed through on my bullshit-ass predictions, would have the book looking for me.

As one may infer from the title, it's a cold day in Hell.

If one judges him by the GOAT (greatest of all time) standard, it's easy to blame this on P. Manning. There was a point where the GOAT (Johnny U, Montana) turns that game into a train run. P. Manning didn't seal the deal, so he will have to tuck in behind them.

But the Colts' early momentum stalled when Garcon dropped that pass on 3rd down. All of the sudden, after a quarter of lock-down, Saints receivers were getting wide open. That was the difference in the game. Except for Wayne's TD, the Colts were not getting open. P. Manning was making some sick throws when nothing was there, the sickest of all being that corner route to Clark in the 3rd Quarter. I couldn't even see Clark through all the coverage.

Inevitably, however, when you have to make so many fine throws, you're going to fuck up one. The Saints finally jumped the slant, Reggie Wayne, doubtless saving himself for a post game The U party, didn't want it...a TaInt* and that was that.

P. Manning standing shaken on the sidelines, his own fallibility dawning on him, realizing it wasn't going to happen and seemingly ready to cry, was a profound moment. I looked for an image of that look, but couldn't find it. You'll have to make do with this image of the onsides kick scrum...I can only imagine how many nutsacks were fondled and balloon-knots masaged.

Sometimes, people feel for the villain or the beaten Goliath. But, not in this case. I didn't feel anything for him, except to want to tell him to get it together because he could still make a sweat out of it.

And, they could have. Just like earlier, P. Manning seemed to choke up when it was time to punch it in. But, Reggie Wayne dropped the 4th down pass. That makes him the bitch and makes Bokolis more inclined to blame him for the TaInt. It underlies that, in the end, the Colts, previously 16-0 in games they tried to win, weren't that good. In the end, they were well-beaten.

The three ballsiest moments, in order of occurence:

  1. Saints going for it on 4th and goal. I didn't like calling a running play when your relative strength is in the passing game. But taking the 3 points gives P. Manning better field position from the kickoff, which quite possibly meant that the Saints would have wound up losing from the exchange. As it was, the Colts played it safe and the Saints wound up getting back the spuned 3 points.
  2. The onsides kick. Winners take chances.
  3. Colts going for it without a huddle on 4th down on their next to last drive. Sure, the drive ended horribly, but the way they went for it was a resounding "Fuck You!" to the defense.
*TaInt > Touchdown after Interception, referred to by the commoners as a pick six.

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