Liz, call me!

As the world has been digesting this, Bokolis has let it marinate. Meet Elizabeth Lambert...looking like JACK Lambert (Jack Lambert does have a daughter named Elizabeth...just a coincidence) and showing Kassidy Shumway and Carlee Payne who is boss. Lambert is close to Laimbeer, no? Bokolis is smitten.

I could use a bird like this on my co-ed squad. I've already got a butcher, but this one makes mine look like Lady Byng. Like Maldini, I'm a left back carrying on as a center back/libero. If I had two butchers at the back, I could get back out on the wing instead of pretending to be Baresi.

Anyone who has ever played sports with birds knows that, unlike the guys, who know the unspoken code to not bring outside stress to the pitch and are there to get away from it, birds take their issues to the pitch and out on whomever is there.

Not wholly unlike the tobacco companies running anti-smoking ads, the self-proclaimed "world wide leader" glorifies this behavior by airing it (including two slo-mo shots of the hair pull). None of us need to be reminded that this behavior is unacceptable, but we've now seen that at least one player pretty much got away with it for 90 minutes (suspension? well, the season's over, isn't it?)...and ESPN got a cheap pop out of it.

Disregarding the cheap shots, Lambert committed at least two red card offenses during play. That the referee let those go no doubt spurred her on. The booking, which came late, was for a comparatively light offense.

Not that I'd feel sorry for either of the BYU birds. Shumway didn't forget to embellish on that hair pull; it surely had Drogba practicing in the mirror. Whether the referee sanctioned Lambert is not relevant; they baited her, so they have to accept the reaction. I imagine Shumway is going GI Jane for the rest of BYU's season.

If they let the kid from Oregon come back for a post-game sucker-punch and subsequent tirade, they can let Liz here come back for some in-game antics.

And, certainly not least, if this bird is so rough in a football match, imagine what a tiger she must be in the bedroom (and all over the house, for that matter). Liz, if you're ever in the Apple, you know ;-/