Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Age of Amateurs

For many years now, I’ve noticed the slow, but steady, infiltration of the Apple by foreigners. By foreigners, I mean people from Boston, the Midwest and other assorted cow-towns. It was all an inoffensive novelty until some weasel from Boston was elected Mayor. This weasel has proceeded to make impositions on how New Yorkers should live their lives. In sterilizing the place, he has made the place corporate friendly, made it safe for amateurs to come out of their holes after dark and enjoy the New York nightlife and made it possible to extract $3,500/mo. rent from said amateurs…a new set of suckers.

Of course, the obvious retort is that out-of-towners coming to New York is not a new phenomenon. You’d be correct. But, there is one key difference: It used to be that you had to get down to be down. The amateurs haven’t done this and neither has the weasel, but the weasel is not only down, he’s running things.

These must be signs of the apocalypse... at least, a sign that it may be time to abandon ship. The beaneaters have apparently set up operations in the East Village. If you’re a fan of New York sports teams, you’d be entering hostile territory in your home town. Not that I’m advocating or would condone it, but no one has even firebombed the joint. They are even able to wear their paraphernalia in public without getting the shit slapped out of them. While I can’t advocate that, either, if I notice anyone doing so, I’ll turn a blind eye. As Bostonians are notorious for being a miserable lot, the Apple is better off without them.

That’s not the half of it. I walked into some other dive after work- this is the fun job- one Saturday night right into a packed house. The whole place was tuned into the Georgia-Alabama football game and the place was packed to the gills with Alabama fans. My only guess was that the bartender was an alumnus; he had the fight song pumped in after every big play and during game stoppages. (Both of these schools are in “The Box,” which I’ll get into at a later time). In any event, these people were chanting along, hooting and hollering.

Aside- One girl even had a full Alabama cheerleading outfit. Had the idea for this blog been conceived, I'd have considered breaking my "no pictures, no cameras" rule. No great loss; she looked reasonably fit, but not as hot as you'd like to believe.

Granted, SEC football has been hot this year and this game was no exception. I walked in with about 6 minutes left in regulation. Alabama tied the game in the late stages and Georgia missed a field goal at the gun. Alabama kicked a FG in OT, but Georgia ended matters by going up top on its first offensive play. The place emptied out almost as fast as the air went out of there. That was good for me, as I was finally able to get to the bar for a drink (after all, I was in happy hour mode), but they cut deep into my drinking time.. As to whether I behaved myself, remember the title of this blog.

The silver lining in all this is that foreign (as defined above) girls are much less crabby than the natives. It is small consolation, as it's not news to anyone that has ventured beyond Staten Island. They adapt quickly, so get them before they grow a shell.

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