Monday, February 8, 2016

Worst super bowl ever

Bokolis has seen 35 of these things- I discount the 34th and 36th editions, as I was traveling and didn't tune in until well into the 4th quarter of each- and I have to say that the alleged "golden" edition- 50th, Golden State, golden confetti angels, etc.- was the worst Super Bowl I've ever seen.

First off, this is a spectacle and a pageant and a circus, hardly the atmosphere befitting a championship match.  To stay in that mindset and to preserve what remains of my sanity, Bokolis avoids the sideshow stuff.  I spend the anthem re-filling my glass* and key in after the coin toss.  During the commercials- they should be paying me to watch the commercials- I avert my eyes, talk to someone who is similarly inclined, or go for a tinkle/walk.  I certainly don't watch the halftime entertainment and I'm not into Beyonce- I didn't like her when she was hot- so I couldn't tell you shit about her alleged cop trolling.

* - While skipping the anthem may inspire howls of being unpatriotic, Bokolis contends that, between ladyboy gaga in a hillary pantsuit and the fact that you can gamble on its length, that spectacle is anything but patriotic. The only time the pre-game anthem is even shown on television is when they have something- or someone- to sell.  In fact, God Bless America gets far more play...I won't explain what they're trying to sell.  Anyone who considers this whoring out of the anthem as patriotic- feel free- has no space to run around challenging others' patriotism, as it would be tantamount to descendants of slaveowners running around waving racist paintbrushes.

Judging from the crowd noise, it's like a preseason game; judging from Eli...well, Eli had this look like it was his wife who was getting the GH shipments, so forget him.  You can say that it's always been that way, but it's now well past recognizable, or it might just be that it only dawned on Bokolis for good this year.

The Broncos offense didn't score a touchdown of its own making.  The Panthers made more than enough mistakes on offense and special teams to double down the Broncos defensive pressure.  This must have been what Super Bowl IX was like.

The murky definition of a "catch" jumped up and bit them in the ass again, as a dubious replay ruling provided the setting for the subsequent defensive touchdown.  While this fuck-up will fall victim to the control the message spin and didn't depart from the theme of the game, it certainly changed the tone and, ultimately, ruined the Super Bowl.

The soulless referee and a couple of crappy defensive holding calls on the Panthers didn't help, but that may just be the bitterness talking.  Regardless, there were several bullshit personal foul/unsportsmanlike conduct penalties called on both sides.  If the way the league goes about things weren't so reactive and ball-less, the referees just might be equipped to toss Aqib Talib for the blatant and deliberate grab of the facemask on Corey Brown.  That Talib was so glib about his je m'en fous postgame says much about a lot, most of all about what the players think of the repercussions of cynical/dirty play.

It adds up to quite a crappy way to end a season.  Bokolis is disgusted...and I don't invest all that much into the season these days.

The biggest stain on this was the replay ruling that did not give Cotchery the reception, even though it is apparent that the ball never hit the ground.  I'm sure that the league ministry of propaganda will say that, even though we didn't see this, the ball hit the ground as Cotchery does and, even though he had his hand under the ball and maintained control upon impact, as he was rolling over, the Broncos tackler's helmet hits the ball, causing it to slip around until Cotchery came to a stop, this means that he did not maintain the necessary control.

Cam Newton is not going to like his performance, but he didn't play like shit.  His teammates on offense didn't fire, notably his receivers.  Now, to rag on them...

The part of Reggie Wayne (see edition 44) was played in this super bowl by Jerricho Cotchery, who, in addition to not getting the call on the replay, dropped two passes (one of which would've set them up goal to go, but that drive resulted in a missed FG) and got blown off his feet by a (quite smaller) cornerback going high on him when he needed to get to the marker.  Bokolis isn't saying she should have had the first down- he was less than even money- but he should not have been rocked by a DB the way he was.  All that shit adds up, and his shit adds up to the most.

Ted Ginn, apparently was saving himself for a post-game bondage party, was going out of his way to avoid being hit.  His most disappointing moment was when he seemingly missed a gear shift when he caught the ball on that crossing route.  With his speed, which is all he's got, it is inexcusable that he didn't get the angle on a safety and take that to the house.  It looked like he didn't turn it on and made a break for the sideline instead...cunt.

To sort out the predictions, Bokolis hit three out of the four quarter bets, but lost on the over.  These effectively cancel out, as was their intention, so I will ignore them in the tally.  Losing the game leaves the postseason record at 7-4-1.  While it's another success, I've dropped two bowls in a's totally going to fuck me up while I'm sitting on the beach.

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