Just One Fix

Can you imagine how many dudes would have gotten outed if George Mitchell had anything more with which to work than one clubhouse rat that flipped?

This Radomski cat had checks and FedEx slips. Why didn't these guys just shoot up in the on-deck circle? I'm sure glad I never had to rob a house with any of these players. Don't these dudes have cash lying around? Granted, having grown up in the 'hood, I'm shady and I know how to keep it real. But, if I were a ball player with a 7, 8-figure salary and reputation to protect, I'd have a safe deposit box and storage locker in every city. You'd have to get the CIA if you wanted to catch me.

To boot, Andy Pettitte copped to it. Sure, he can figure on sympathy based on the circumstances and his erstwhile wholesome image. But, faced with this situation, I would invoke a quote often attributed to John Gotti; "If I robbed a church and had a steeple sticking out of my ass, I'd deny it too."

Roger Clemens won't get such sympathy. Despite being previously linked, he was never vilified like Barroid has been. Somehow, the world overlooked that, throughout his career, Clemens has been every bit the prick we've portrayed Bonds to be. After a previous 4-year downtrend, we can easily draw the inference that the sauce revitalized Clemens' sputtering career.

The real issue, for me, is that this all went down under MLB's flag, with its tacit, if not implicit, approval; part Boss Hogg, part pro wrestling.

Just think of how many more cats they'd catch if they had a test, if they could track the dudes that know how to keep it on the DL, if more rats come out of the woodwork. Think about how much ticket prices have increased from 1994. Think about the stadia the taxpayers have financed, all the other money they've sucked out of you. They've all been lying to you they whole time.

It's no big deal, right? After all, since we're lied to at every turn, what's one more lie?