Not offsides, huh?

So, some burocrat from UEFA decided that Van Nistelrooy was correctly judged onside on his goal.

The starting point, said Mr (UEFA General Secretary David) Taylor, is the Laws of the Game – Law 11 – which deal with offside... "If you think back to the situation, the first is the goalkeeper, and the second is the defender (Panucci) who, because of his momentum, actually had left the field of play. But this defender was still deemed to be part of the game. Therefore he is taken into consideration as one of the last two opponents. As a result, Ruud van Nistelrooy was not nearer to the opponents' goal than the second-last defender...If we did not have this interpretation of the player being off the pitch then what could happen is that the defending team could use the tactic of stepping off the pitch deliberately to play players offside, and that clearly is unacceptable..."

In the modern interpretation (read: bastardization) of the offsides rule, when an offensive player is in an offside position, he can avoid being called offside by not involving himself in the play. The most recent case is the Czech Republic's goal against Switzerland. Even though the defense has set up to trap a player offside, this player can, in effect, negate that trap by not involving himself in the action, even though he is still in the way. Another player, who was not previously in an offside position can then streak behind the defense and walk in on goal. The defense winds up being punished because, even as the trap has snared its victim, they still have to defend against the players still in an onside position.

Now, UEFA is saying that the defenses do not enjoy that same privilege. So, when a player is sprawled out injured at the back, he plays the opposition onside. But, if an offensive player in a similar situation does not play his team offside. Similarly, if an offensive player, in tracking down a ball, winds up in the stands, and stays for a swig of beer (as well he should), he does not play his team offside. However, if, in trying to make a clearance, a defender winds up in the advertising boards, he is deemed to be part of the play and is "nearer" his goal than the striker standing at the goalmouth.

Being the (C U Next Tuesday) that he is, the UEFA burocrat hides behind a supposed defensive tactic of pulling off players from the pitch to trap teams offside...because running off the pitch is a more effective tactic than marking your opponent. What's worse, the statement implies that UEFA would not even trust its referees to determine if such a tactic was employed.

That's european burocracy for you. The arguing prevails over the argument. I'd rather hear the truth; that the powers that be want goals and don't care how they come. Sling that bullshit somewhere else.

Are you ready for some footbaaalllll!!! Group C Day 1

ROM 0-0 FRA - France without Zidane is Senegal. France without Henry is (insert African Federation ranked lower than Senegal). Makelele is still too much quality for Romania. Nobody was ever going to score.

NED 3-0 ITA - History will remember this as the worst destruction (to date) in Italy's history. The Dutch certainly played well enough to trounce the Italians. To take this match simply as that would be to ignore the dubious breakthrough and subsequent ripple effect. Granted Sneijder's goal was magic but, does that happen in a nil-nil match? Do the Italians expose themselves at the back by pressing as they did? Nonetheless, the Italians had plenty of time and chances to pull back the game, but they didn't take their chances.

They're an aging team, to boot. Without Cannavaro to marshal the team, Italy's biggest sin will prove to be that they have not replenished the back line. Panucci, at 35, is still out there. Materazzi is 34. If Cannavaro were available, he'd be another 34 year old at the back. Zambrotta, the baby of the bunch at 31, will bring down the average age of Milan's back line next season. Had he wanted to, they would have let Maldini play. The 3/4 Milan midfield isn't much younger.

Milan never saw it coming and crashed hard with its geezer set. Italy have learned nothing from this and are set to mimic Milan's crash.

The holders will be in action on Tuesday. While they may even be a little better (on paper) this time around, everybody sees them coming. The Swedes, meanwhile, will see what they can get from Ibra.

Are you ready for some footbaaalllll!!! Group B Day 1

The second day of Euro 2008 brought a couple of snoozefests. At least there haven't been any draws.

AUT 0 - 1 HRV - Hrvatska, d/b/a the anglicanized Croatia, drew an early penalty and pulled back, content to let Austria fumble its way around the pitch. I'm sure Croatia would have been happy enough with a draw against the hosts, so an early goal gave them even less incentive to chase the game. Croatia's defense was good, but not so good that they could not be scored upon. A goal was probably beyond Austria, but it didn't help their cause that they couldn't cross the ball worth shyte. As Croatia typically plays to the level of its opposition, they are a dark horse in any tournament they enter. They pick up a relatively painless 3 points and, if they advance, figure to cause some problems.

GER 2 - 0 POL - Actually, a Polish guy did all the scoring, but he plays for Germany...there's some awful ethnic humor in there if you try hard enough. I'm not sure if Germany has any Germans on the squad. Although they almost pulled one back at the end, it was never going to happen for the Poles. They have a bunch of guys that aren't of much use if there is no one around to score goals.

Monday brings the first death match, as the Italians link up with the Dutch. Forza Italia, but be careful how you say that...it's got dual meaning.

Are you ready for some footbaaalllll!!! Group A Day 1

No, not rugby for fairies, world football. Specifically, Euro 2008 is now in full swing. Here is some perspective.

SUI 0 - 1 CZE - The Swiss were marginally the better side, as the Czech's, on the road, seemed content to play for a draw. But, while the Swiss were able to move the ball pretty much as they wished, they can't cross a ball worth shyte and they did not take their chances. Granted, they should have had a penalty when Ujfaluši, with his hand high enough to order drinks, handled a pass in the box. The ref apparently played advantage (the Swiss wound up drawing a save from Cech and hit the bar from the rebound, but I can't understand how he played an advantage when a penalty was in order). The Czech's scored from a defensive breakdown on what I think was their only shot on goal.

POR 2 - 0 TUR - The Portuguese were never seriously threatened. Without anything resembling a striker, they could have left the Turks alone out there and they would have had trouble scoring. It probably doesn't help the Turks that, political distinctions aside, they aren't European.

Poof-naldo almost brought magic when he hit the post from an angled free kick, but didn't do all that much during the run of play. Maybe he doesn't realize that playing against second-rate EPL defenders is quite different than playing against guys, even Turks, playing for their flag. Portugal's best player (Pepe) on this day, just like in their history, was an import.

Poof-naldo reminded me of the pesetero by playing out wide. The difference is that Figo had to play out wide because the field wasn't large enough to hold both him and Rui Costa, with Figo relegated to the wing. Poof-naldo is hiding out there because, being a man by anatomy only, he doesn't want the contact that will come with carrying the ball in the middle of the park...even though he would get to dive and cry and all the cameras would be focused upon him. Don't divas live for that?

The Turks gave it what they had. They even had a couple of guys that can hang. 7 was decent and 18 looks like he can play with anyone. Both of these guys were on the right and, when the ball went that way, things flowed for the Turks. While they had the guts, they also had a stodgy back line. Once a couple of their less skilled mongoloids thought they could string together some passes, they pissed away the ball and it led to Pepe's goal. While guts was enough for Sergeant Hartman, on this day, it was only enough for a 2-nil defeat for the Turks.

After a larger sample set...

...we can see now that the Mets are a middling squad. After playing like they were entitled to Monday off, they managed to take the next two from the sub-par Giants. The were subsequently swept by the even more horrid Padres. They didn't face one upper echelon pitcher in those seven games, but they lost five.

Sure, Willie uses that bullpen like bizarro Tony La Russa. But, it's not like his players win any games for him. They give away plays, at bats and bases. I don't know if that's a vicious cycle, but I'm pretty sure the pattern is not going to change. They've wasted enough of my time. I have something better to do.

Willie not Freed

So, Willie wasn't shit-canned. It's just as well; as was discussed, these issues aren't his doing. While it's too early to tell, I can only hope that these chumps were shaken out of their comfort level and get it moving. Here's the rundown:
Monday, on the heels of the meeting and press conferences, they were flat.
Tuesday, they beat a 4-A pitcher with their ace.
Wednesday, they pulled the game out of their ass, twice coming back from deficits while down to their last three outs.
Thursday, with the help of a catcher's interference call, they beat a guy who never wins at the dump.
Friday, after chasing a 20 year old making his second MLB start, Heilman- Doug Sisk re-incarnated- coughed up the lead.
Saturday, after sleepwalking through seven innings, Beltran finally hit a breaking pitch (granted, it didn't break).
Sunday...don't know. I've been staring at Stacy Nelson's legs and ass. I'm sorry I couldn't get you an ass shot. That's all the UFAA had to offer. Why was I watching chics play softball? As a (world) football nut, the fact that one score is so damned important makes this compelling. Let's just leave it at that.

As for the Mets, Petey coming back has to help, but they go as Reyes goes.

The ante-mortem post-mortem

It seems as if Willie Randolph is being marched out to the guillotine. I feel compelled to offer my take on events. If nothing else, it's out there before the (f)act.

The Mets are under .500 for their last 162 games. It's pretty well established that things started falling apart for Randolph and the Mets when he lost Jose Reyes. Contrary to the prevailing theories that this happened in July of 2007, when Randolph pulled Reyes from a game against the Astros, the Randolph regime jumped the shark during a June 13, 2007 game against the Dodgers. They were smoked, 9-1, as Penny was throwing steam that night and the Mets had their collective heads up their collective asses. No one was more conspicuous than Reyes, who, by my estimation, took off at least three plays in which he was directly involved.

I immediately picked up on this, as I had offered up my ass to trade for Reyes for my fantasy squad, but pulled it back after watching this game.

Back then, Billy Wagner was a little more veiled in calling out his Latino teammates for mamando gallo.

"We've caused a lot of our own problems. I mean, they played outstanding baseball, but we made them look better with our sloppy play and our lackadaisical efforts," Wagner added. "I don't think it's got anything to do with confidence. It's just about focus and desire. I mean, you've got to want it more than everybody else wants it."

In dealing with the suddenly lollygagging Reyes, Randolph's tough-love tactics backfired. Of course they would. Reyes was sore because he signed a shit contract (4 years, $23.25MM), made all the worse by David Wright's 6-year $55MM deal. The whole world knew it was a shit deal when it was announced, and the penny wise, dollar stupid Wilpons, still reeling and neurotic, years later, from Mo Vaughn's freeloading, thought they were getting over.

Of course, there is nobody in place, certainly not the agent that brokered the shit deal, to tell Reyes to man up and honor his contract. Instead, he has been sulking for the better part of two years.

The other load on the team is Carlos Beltrán. He's in cruise control. No one likes to talk about it, but he lost his balls when he bumped his head. He didn't even get the worst of it, but he has not been the same. While I don't necessarily fault him for that, if he's going to tell the world that the Mets are the team to beat, that tells me that he's over it and has no excuse not to dial it up.

While there are plenty of others on the team that I don't particularly like, I think you're getting what you're going to get from them.

Neither Beltran's nor Reyes' downturns are Randolph's doing or fault. It is the GM's job to identify these useless players and move them. Because GM Omar Minaya can't/won't move Reyes and/or Beltrán and because no amount of motivation from Randolph will fix this, the team has to change its manager. Someone has to come in, like Carlito Brigante, and explain that "I don't know you, so I don't owe you...new rules, everybody pays."

Players and the GM have a one-manager buffer. When nothing changes, what's the excuse going to be?