Unlike the NBA, where teams sleepwalk through playoff games, you may reasonably expect NFL players to be giving you something approaching full effort. It approaches being fun to speculate on the outcome, even if this is a shit card.
Remember, Bokolis doesn't pay attention to this stuff like the rest of fat-assed America. If I'm watching the NFL, it's on the monitor of the treadmill or at the ensuing session. If I watch this at home, it usually puts me to sleep. But, that hasn't stopped me from doing well for at least the last two seasons, so we press our luck.
I'm going to miss Rex.
Cardinals (+6.5) over PANTHERS - Bokolis wouldn't touch this game. While it seems like a printing press to get this many points- surely an overvaluing of their performance in the season finale- it usually turns out to be a sucker's bet. I would love to tell y'all (again) that Cam Newton is a mongoloid who can't process variables, but it would seem there is offsetting inexperience on the other side. I have to put my faith in coach Arians and how he's made lemon meringue out of all the lemons. He will at least make this into enough of a shit-show so that Carolina doesn't run off with it.
STEELERS (-3) over Ravens - This is another game that Bokolis would avoid, if only because both of these teams are off their best levels. The Steelers are as unloved an 11-5 side as you'll see. The knock on them is that they've had atrocious losses. I suppose their recent form should squash that, but they will be without their RB this evening. Nonetheless, the Ravens have not shown anything this year that indicates that Harbaugh-B will summon enough resolve to go into Pittsburgh and swipe a playoff game.
COLTS (-3.5) over Bengals - I guess we are supposed to disregard the 27-0 train-run Indy put on the Bengals earlier this season. Bokolis thinks Dalton is shit and will operate accordingly until proven otherwise.
COWBOYS (-6.5) over Lions - Bokolis remembers telling a Cowboys fan earlier this year, if Jerry Jones keeps his fucking mouth shut, the Cowboys will get to the Super Bowl. Then they played the game against Washington, where Romo was injured, prompting Jerry to bolt the box for the sideline. I fully blame him for that loss, which is probably why they have to play this week.
As we know, all four Cowboys losses have come at Jerry's super-mart. It's also no coincidence that the place does not have the best atmosphere for fan engagement/support. Jerry is often whingeing about opposition fans having too much of a presence at his joint...Bokolis will leave aside that profits (that he doesn't have to share with the rest of the class), not fan support, drove him to build that monstrosity. He is lucky the Lions are not much of a road show. While Michiganders typically need no excuse for a vacation from that rusted-out, forsaken territory, especially in the winter, the line to pray at the altar of Harbaugh-A hasn't yet thinned out enough to suggest much traveling support.
Even if they do make it down, Bokolis does not see it making much of a difference. The Cowboys have had too many impressive performances this season. While they are quite capable of laying the occasional egg, turning this trick is also going to involve Stafford giving an inspired performance, which he doesn't often offer.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Friday, January 2, 2015
New year, new game
Bokolis has changed the boilerplate. I've come to understand that, no matter how hard you try, you're always on somebody's radar, and that somebody usually has a hard-on for you.
This is why I don't bother to howl at the wind about cops with their cunts up in the air, likely not realizing that their function has morphed into protecting the state, which effectively makes them military (and all that implies). Somewhere along the line, many of them started to believe that their mandate is to catch villains, with many within that subset resorting to contriving villains when/as needed.
Whether the PoPo are conscious of it or not, they are conflicted because both the People- who they believe they are supposed to protect- and their corporate masters- who, upon lumping up all those unarmed hipsters, they now de-facto protect and are beholden to, the carrot in the form of a pension- are annoyed at them. Deep down, they must know that this is an untenable situation, that the People, even if unjust, are always right, that they only exist out here because of the People.
Lest anyone believe that their conscience will win out, they will roll over and things will only get uglier. Bokolis will move on to some unimportant shit.
On some sort of parallel, Bokolis is in the process of withdrawing from following sports. That is not to say that I will no longer watch, and it is certainly not a sign that I am growing up. I still love the competition; it's the soap opera that I'm letting go.
Where it concerns football, I've explained to friends that
I will still more closely follow the lower leagues, as they have not been corroded to the same degree by these issues.
What does that mean for the NFL playoffs? Since I still have a soft spot, Bokolis will hook y'all up with some pearls.
What does it mean for the man behind the curtain...good question.
This is why I don't bother to howl at the wind about cops with their cunts up in the air, likely not realizing that their function has morphed into protecting the state, which effectively makes them military (and all that implies). Somewhere along the line, many of them started to believe that their mandate is to catch villains, with many within that subset resorting to contriving villains when/as needed.
Whether the PoPo are conscious of it or not, they are conflicted because both the People- who they believe they are supposed to protect- and their corporate masters- who, upon lumping up all those unarmed hipsters, they now de-facto protect and are beholden to, the carrot in the form of a pension- are annoyed at them. Deep down, they must know that this is an untenable situation, that the People, even if unjust, are always right, that they only exist out here because of the People.
Lest anyone believe that their conscience will win out, they will roll over and things will only get uglier. Bokolis will move on to some unimportant shit.
On some sort of parallel, Bokolis is in the process of withdrawing from following sports. That is not to say that I will no longer watch, and it is certainly not a sign that I am growing up. I still love the competition; it's the soap opera that I'm letting go.
Where it concerns football, I've explained to friends that
- 2018 & 2022 World Cup...rigged bid promises rigged tournament
- 2016 & 2020 Euro...see prior
- annual club tours of the US...charging twice as much as they do for actual league matches in the home country to watch burned out players play at 50%
- 2016 Copa America in the US...see prior
- Every other Copa America...who gives a shit
I will still more closely follow the lower leagues, as they have not been corroded to the same degree by these issues.
What does that mean for the NFL playoffs? Since I still have a soft spot, Bokolis will hook y'all up with some pearls.
What does it mean for the man behind the curtain...good question.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
World Cup 2014…über todos
Germany over Argentina - Bokolis will be rooting the other way. Argentina can definitely win. But, I think that the Argentines won't have enough firepower to cope with the Germans. I've imagined more scenarios where Germany wins than Argentina. Argentina have to hold the Germans, which they can do, and will have to find a way to run at the German back line so as to make it look stodgy. Germany will just do what they do and hope that Argentina don't get lucky.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
World Cup 2014...The King of Soccer
After sweeping through the semifinals, Bokolis is now 12-2 in the knockout stages of the 2014 World Cup, retaining my position- as an old bookmaker dubbed me- as the the King of Soccer.
I call my winners, I call my losers ahead of time, I call it when it's going penalties. It IS kind of scary how good I am at this...no, it's not. What is scary is the amount of China traffic I have been getting during the World Cup. I figure their government will be firewalling, so as not to put the people in People's Republic. Who knows, as the traffic may be government officials that Bokolis is making rich.
Despite Bokolis telling y'all that Brazil were inadequate, we all still had to see that steamrolling to believe it. I thought they would lose 3-0. After watching about six minutes, I texted some friends that, if Germany doesn't score at least three goals on these impostors they should be embarrassed. Nonetheless, I still let out a fire-yell when the Germans unpicked the lock. At some point, the Germans must have felt like George Foreman did during his six-knockdown victory over Joe Frazier- that they had better keep battering them before Brazil get up and kill them.
Of course, the Germans zipped right past three. On the half-hour, Bokolis gets a call from, of all people, me mum, toiling away somewhere, in inhuman conditions, having gotten wind of something far-flung...Hello. Is it true? Yes, Germany have 5. {click}. The overseers on her plantation don't allow phone use by the minions, but she has a rose card to play. That she would play it for football, for two non-affiliated nations, so close to quitting time, is all I needed to understand about the shock.
The Dutch played 330 minutes of knockout tournament football. For about 325 of them, they had no output, as their two goals game in a 3-minute span late on against Mexico. When Bokolis saw that they would open in a 5-3-2 against Argentina, with de Jong suddenly fit, I thought, uh-oh. So, it didn't overly bother me that Argentina wasn't scoring because they didn't suffer much pressure from the Dutch.
The bottom line is that the Dutch didn't want that game badly enough to take it. They were closer to relieved- that they wouldn't have to play any more and that they at least won a PK shootout- than distraught that they lost. They figured they did well enough.
Bokolis was impressed with van Gaal and is unsettled that he is now off to the theatre of pisspots to run manchester united. I take solace that he is very likely three-years-and-out (and bored as a nun in his third year) and that they still aren't going to win with the talent they have.
What to do about the final? Before the tournament, Bokolis had picked Argentina to defeat Germany in the final. However, I am now leaning the other way. While I am a clear leader in my pool- and the only one to have correctly picked the final matchup- because of the weight placed on picking the champion, there are two jokers who picked Germany that can still flag me down.Who fucking makes these pools What to do, what to do...
I call my winners, I call my losers ahead of time, I call it when it's going penalties. It IS kind of scary how good I am at this...no, it's not. What is scary is the amount of China traffic I have been getting during the World Cup. I figure their government will be firewalling, so as not to put the people in People's Republic. Who knows, as the traffic may be government officials that Bokolis is making rich.
Despite Bokolis telling y'all that Brazil were inadequate, we all still had to see that steamrolling to believe it. I thought they would lose 3-0. After watching about six minutes, I texted some friends that, if Germany doesn't score at least three goals on these impostors they should be embarrassed. Nonetheless, I still let out a fire-yell when the Germans unpicked the lock. At some point, the Germans must have felt like George Foreman did during his six-knockdown victory over Joe Frazier- that they had better keep battering them before Brazil get up and kill them.
Of course, the Germans zipped right past three. On the half-hour, Bokolis gets a call from, of all people, me mum, toiling away somewhere, in inhuman conditions, having gotten wind of something far-flung...Hello. Is it true? Yes, Germany have 5. {click}. The overseers on her plantation don't allow phone use by the minions, but she has a rose card to play. That she would play it for football, for two non-affiliated nations, so close to quitting time, is all I needed to understand about the shock.
The Dutch played 330 minutes of knockout tournament football. For about 325 of them, they had no output, as their two goals game in a 3-minute span late on against Mexico. When Bokolis saw that they would open in a 5-3-2 against Argentina, with de Jong suddenly fit, I thought, uh-oh. So, it didn't overly bother me that Argentina wasn't scoring because they didn't suffer much pressure from the Dutch.
The bottom line is that the Dutch didn't want that game badly enough to take it. They were closer to relieved- that they wouldn't have to play any more and that they at least won a PK shootout- than distraught that they lost. They figured they did well enough.
Bokolis was impressed with van Gaal and is unsettled that he is now off to the theatre of pisspots to run manchester united. I take solace that he is very likely three-years-and-out (and bored as a nun in his third year) and that they still aren't going to win with the talent they have.
What to do about the final? Before the tournament, Bokolis had picked Argentina to defeat Germany in the final. However, I am now leaning the other way. While I am a clear leader in my pool- and the only one to have correctly picked the final matchup- because of the weight placed on picking the champion, there are two jokers who picked Germany that can still flag me down.
Monday, July 7, 2014
World Cup 2014...next stop: the semis
Could we have gotten a more uninspiring quarterfinal round than that? I guess it was a bad idea for all these sides to consult with Bokolis on how to play knockout tournament football. It's like they set back football 24 years. Even that 1990 World Cup had relentless hacking and chopping, first to the Swamp Rat, then extending to everyone capable of getting past a defender.
This one didn't even have that, as Neymar's injury wasn't even worth the bit he took. Bokolis found it telling that his reaction to being legitimately injured was indistinguishable from his myriad other embellishments.
I call it karma for the home cooking the received all match long- not to mention the penalty in the opening match vs Croatia- from the Spanish referee. This errand boy booked James for far less than the Brazilians had been doing to him all night, when he hadn't even gotten around to really clipping the man on the ball.
That is not to say Brazil didn't deserve to win; Colombia made fatal errors on Brazil's two goals, and Brazil did not. So, ultimately, it wasn't as bad as the multiple screwjobs in 2002, but it was another case of FIFA engineering a semi-final run for an inadequate home team. We can only hope that it stops there.
Columbia was worth the 4-1.
We saw Argentina revert to what approached park-the-bus tactics after Higuain snagged an early opportunistic goal. While Bokolis isn't too keen on their keeper, their back line was underestimated by the pundits.
Similarly, the Germans grabbed an early goal and undertook a guarded position to see it out.
Costa Rica caught a few breaks, but the Dutch should be embarrassed that they didn't score in 120 minutes.
Germany over Brazil - As was mentioned above, even before they lost Neymar, Brazil are inadequate. If that is the way they have to score, they cannot stand up to the Germans without some sort of chicanery, whether that be a favorable FIFA ruling on Thiago Silva's suspension- hey, how else are Brazil going to score without their defenders- or another dosage of the drugs they were on for last year's Confederations Cup. This is far from a sure thing, however, and the Germans will have to keep their collective foot on the gas so as to break the opponent's spirit, as Brazil figure to have plenty of it. If they let the Brazilians hang around, as they did with the French, there's no telling what freakishness will happen.
Argentina over Netherlands - Penalties, anyone? Having pulled it out of the fire against Mexico and needing penalties against Costa Rica, the Dutch now get the Latino mothership in Argentina. You have to figure that the Dutch would like to relentlessly hack down Messi every chance they get. Unlike the last outfit with de Jong and van Bommel, this side may not have the size (or a benign referee) to do it. That should expose them enough for Messi & Co. to strike.
This one didn't even have that, as Neymar's injury wasn't even worth the bit he took. Bokolis found it telling that his reaction to being legitimately injured was indistinguishable from his myriad other embellishments.
I call it karma for the home cooking the received all match long- not to mention the penalty in the opening match vs Croatia- from the Spanish referee. This errand boy booked James for far less than the Brazilians had been doing to him all night, when he hadn't even gotten around to really clipping the man on the ball.
That is not to say Brazil didn't deserve to win; Colombia made fatal errors on Brazil's two goals, and Brazil did not. So, ultimately, it wasn't as bad as the multiple screwjobs in 2002, but it was another case of FIFA engineering a semi-final run for an inadequate home team. We can only hope that it stops there.
Columbia was worth the 4-1.
We saw Argentina revert to what approached park-the-bus tactics after Higuain snagged an early opportunistic goal. While Bokolis isn't too keen on their keeper, their back line was underestimated by the pundits.
Similarly, the Germans grabbed an early goal and undertook a guarded position to see it out.
Costa Rica caught a few breaks, but the Dutch should be embarrassed that they didn't score in 120 minutes.
Germany over Brazil - As was mentioned above, even before they lost Neymar, Brazil are inadequate. If that is the way they have to score, they cannot stand up to the Germans without some sort of chicanery, whether that be a favorable FIFA ruling on Thiago Silva's suspension- hey, how else are Brazil going to score without their defenders- or another dosage of the drugs they were on for last year's Confederations Cup. This is far from a sure thing, however, and the Germans will have to keep their collective foot on the gas so as to break the opponent's spirit, as Brazil figure to have plenty of it. If they let the Brazilians hang around, as they did with the French, there's no telling what freakishness will happen.
Argentina over Netherlands - Penalties, anyone? Having pulled it out of the fire against Mexico and needing penalties against Costa Rica, the Dutch now get the Latino mothership in Argentina. You have to figure that the Dutch would like to relentlessly hack down Messi every chance they get. Unlike the last outfit with de Jong and van Bommel, this side may not have the size (or a benign referee) to do it. That should expose them enough for Messi & Co. to strike.
Friday, July 4, 2014
World Cup 2014...U-S hey? The QF go on
As in 2010, Bokolis went 7-1 in the round of 16, with the USA again spoiling running the table. At least this time around, I tried to advertise that it was a pick of blind patriotism, that I really didn't think they would win. It would've been one of the all-time smash-and-grab jobs, too. But, Wondolowski missed the sitter. Aside- several people- typically ignorant American soccer fans- came up to me, knowing that I play, live and breathe football, and said, paraphrasing, you'd've scored that, right, bro? I responded with, I'd've been the one making the pass. It's for the best, as it wasn't meant that America should be hailing someone named Wondolowski.
Further, if we apply the Ali G method of rating footballers, we'd've known beforehand that this dude didn't have the goods. Bokolis knew, without seeing the bird. It's because I also knew that Klinsmann has not been given a full deck with which to work; he's done the best that can be done with a bunch of not-so-good footballers. This team certainly wasn't as good as the 2010 squad, and it had nothing to do with Donovan. Tim Howard, never a Bokolis favorite, was fantastic. Jermaine Jones may alternate between a poor man's Gullit and a poor man's Rijkaard. But Bradley, solid in 2006 and 2010, was largely poor. Neither one of their fullbacks could cross worth shyte, which, when you use them to get forward as much as the USA did, is a massive hassle. And, of course, if you don't have a striker, which the USA has not had since McBride, you're going to be pissing in the wind.
Nonetheless, we have that uniquely American trait to function at a very high level given far less than ideal circumstances. But, the flip-side of that is that USA seemed to be waiting for it to turn into a Rocky movie before turning up the effort.
The good news is, all the bananas can go now home and leave the football to the rest of us 24/7/365ers. We've seen some tense affairs, likely because of parity, but also because of very little enterprise. Let's hope that changes.
Germany over France - I suppose there is a crack in here about the French ever beating the Germans. It's a pretty even game. This French edition is decent- Bokolis has underestimated them and, while I don't think Pogba is as good as his hype, Sakho means business back there- and has as good a chance of picking off the Germans as they'll ever have. But, getting to the QF seems just about right for them, which is code for saying that I'm married to my SF picks. Nonetheless, France is another side that's had an easy ride. They will need something special to oust the Germans, for whom the SF is almost a birthright, otherwise they'll have to wait for those u-20 champs to ripen.
Colombia over Brazil - I had picked Brazil to beat Colombia in this matchup before the tournament. However, if they both play to prevailing form, Colombia wins. Hey, Bokolis is getting 4/1 here. This is some serious reputation pricing.
I've been playing football with Colombians all my life, so I know this style of play all too well and knew ahead of time that the '94 team was shyte. I've never seen Colombians that play like this. This is at least a semi-final team. They've had the benefit of flying under the radar because of diminished expectations with Falcao shelved and having rather impotent opposition. Brazil with Fred and Jo are even more impotent than the set Brazil had to run out there in the '98 final because of Ronaldo's coke binge. Just to hedge a bit, the draw is 3/1, as nothing shits more than being right and still not getting to the window.
Argentina over Belgium - Lost in the world's frenzy to suck Tim Howard's dick was that the Belgian finishing wasn't much good. He wasn't as good as Ochoa against the Brazilians, as Ochoa made four superhuman saves, while Howard made one. All the rest were saves he had to make.
Belgium, despite being well-balanced and stocked in all positions and, even with the soft opposition haven't looked particularly good. As noted above, they were a missed sitter away from getting bounced. Further, I suspect that they will look a bit creaky at the back when Argentina eventually figures out how to support Messi in attack.
Netherlands over Costa Rica - We'll just do this one on the papers…sounds good?
Further, if we apply the Ali G method of rating footballers, we'd've known beforehand that this dude didn't have the goods. Bokolis knew, without seeing the bird. It's because I also knew that Klinsmann has not been given a full deck with which to work; he's done the best that can be done with a bunch of not-so-good footballers. This team certainly wasn't as good as the 2010 squad, and it had nothing to do with Donovan. Tim Howard, never a Bokolis favorite, was fantastic. Jermaine Jones may alternate between a poor man's Gullit and a poor man's Rijkaard. But Bradley, solid in 2006 and 2010, was largely poor. Neither one of their fullbacks could cross worth shyte, which, when you use them to get forward as much as the USA did, is a massive hassle. And, of course, if you don't have a striker, which the USA has not had since McBride, you're going to be pissing in the wind.
Nonetheless, we have that uniquely American trait to function at a very high level given far less than ideal circumstances. But, the flip-side of that is that USA seemed to be waiting for it to turn into a Rocky movie before turning up the effort.
The good news is, all the bananas can go now home and leave the football to the rest of us 24/7/365ers. We've seen some tense affairs, likely because of parity, but also because of very little enterprise. Let's hope that changes.
Germany over France - I suppose there is a crack in here about the French ever beating the Germans. It's a pretty even game. This French edition is decent- Bokolis has underestimated them and, while I don't think Pogba is as good as his hype, Sakho means business back there- and has as good a chance of picking off the Germans as they'll ever have. But, getting to the QF seems just about right for them, which is code for saying that I'm married to my SF picks. Nonetheless, France is another side that's had an easy ride. They will need something special to oust the Germans, for whom the SF is almost a birthright, otherwise they'll have to wait for those u-20 champs to ripen.
Colombia over Brazil - I had picked Brazil to beat Colombia in this matchup before the tournament. However, if they both play to prevailing form, Colombia wins. Hey, Bokolis is getting 4/1 here. This is some serious reputation pricing.
I've been playing football with Colombians all my life, so I know this style of play all too well and knew ahead of time that the '94 team was shyte. I've never seen Colombians that play like this. This is at least a semi-final team. They've had the benefit of flying under the radar because of diminished expectations with Falcao shelved and having rather impotent opposition. Brazil with Fred and Jo are even more impotent than the set Brazil had to run out there in the '98 final because of Ronaldo's coke binge. Just to hedge a bit, the draw is 3/1, as nothing shits more than being right and still not getting to the window.
Argentina over Belgium - Lost in the world's frenzy to suck Tim Howard's dick was that the Belgian finishing wasn't much good. He wasn't as good as Ochoa against the Brazilians, as Ochoa made four superhuman saves, while Howard made one. All the rest were saves he had to make.
Belgium, despite being well-balanced and stocked in all positions and, even with the soft opposition haven't looked particularly good. As noted above, they were a missed sitter away from getting bounced. Further, I suspect that they will look a bit creaky at the back when Argentina eventually figures out how to support Messi in attack.
Netherlands over Costa Rica - We'll just do this one on the papers…sounds good?
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
World Cup 2014...Round of 16 Day 4
Argentina over Switzerland - Uhh, what was Bokolis saying- when I talked about the wrong game- about finding out whether Messi & co. are serious about winning this tournament? Switzerland isn't potent or brave enough to overcome Argentina. I would like to see this go to penalties, as Tranquillo Barnetta would have the chance- if he gets on the pitch- to be the first person to miss in the PK shootout in multiple world cups.
USA over Belgium - Is this blind patriotism, believing in the American self-confidence, or thinking that Belgium has had a soft ride? It's probably a combination of all three. Last go around, Bokolis was 7-1 in the round of 16 (as were the Group winners), with the only blemish being the USA. It certainly is shaping up for the same, including the mudfight for the US. Bokolis will bank on Belgium not having its shit together, which will give the US enough time and opportunity to sort out how to get two goals.
USA over Belgium - Is this blind patriotism, believing in the American self-confidence, or thinking that Belgium has had a soft ride? It's probably a combination of all three. Last go around, Bokolis was 7-1 in the round of 16 (as were the Group winners), with the only blemish being the USA. It certainly is shaping up for the same, including the mudfight for the US. Bokolis will bank on Belgium not having its shit together, which will give the US enough time and opportunity to sort out how to get two goals.
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